Good morning my insidious insomniacs! I trust you are all developing healthy cases of carpal tunnel from being held hostage inside by our domineering mother star. I’m enjoying the weather personally, but that may stem from the substantial increase in less crowded streets to sulk down surreptitiously.
Speaking of stars, I would like to talk to you today about something that has bothered me since my youth. A truth which has never surfaced due to years of brainwashed suppression. A dark revelation about Star Trek which makes my very core quake with anger and fear:
All the people in the future are stupid.
Star Trek is a strike against evolution since apparently no one thought that seats or basic restraints on a warp-capable starship were good ideas. I mean seriously, as much as the USS Enterprise has run into combat and strange ship-shaking anomalies in the past, you would think that they wouldn’t just stand at their consoles while their ship is being torn apart. Almost every injury or death that occurs on the bridge happens because people trip and fall and DIE!
Setting aside the ridiculousness of being injured or even killed from tripping over and falling, has no one considered that this is a problem with a simple solution? I’m sure Geordi or Scotty could cook up some sort of inverse tachyon harness or antigravity seatbelt or something. Instead, Capt. Picard will get knocked out every time some crucial decision needs to be made.
I’m just saying man,
