Happy New Year to all of my faithful readers! To my unfaithful readers, well…I’m not talking to you right now. I saw you out reading other webcomics and I must say, I hope it was worth breaking up this little family of ours. Jerks.

Nonetheless, in the spirit of this well-intentioned but ultimately pointless holiday, I present to you my list of New Year’s resolutions.

Dark Numchuck’s New Year’s Resolutions for the Year of Our (Over)Lord 2009

1. Global domination. I know this one goes on the top of the list every 365 days, but I really think this is my year to shine. I have some ideas, I’m planning some collaborations, suffice to say that schemes will be involved. I plan to follow the examples of other global conglomerates such as Gamestop, Google, McDonald’s and Alexander the Great. That guy was everywhere.

2. Get those meddling kids and their obnoxiously anthropromorphic Great Dane.

3. Complete a game of Monopoly.

4. Lose 20 pounds. Diet, excercise, bulimia, whatever. I think one of the voices in my head is an anorexic, so maybe I’ll ask her for some tips. You know, turn my lemons into lemonade…and then not drink any.

5. Have Xzibit put something into something so that I can utilize it while I utilize it.

6. Find, kidnap, or engineer (mechanically or genetically) true love.

7. Beat Tetris.

8. Watch the complete filmography of John Candy.

Well there you go. I fully anticipate losing my zeal 17 hours into the John Candython, but what a loud, obnoxious 17 hour stretch that will be!

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up, it’s Candy time!

Lord Dark Numchuck

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 4th, 2009 at 12:00 am and is filed under Comic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.